By Laura Martin, Partner and Head of Family Law.
When a relationship breaks down, the practical "what happens next?" questions can feel as urgent as the emotional ones, particularly where there are children, a jointly owned home, or where one spouse is not engaging with the reality of separation.
It's common for people to focus on the logistical details before any formal process begins - who stays in the house, whether the home needs to be sold, how to manage bills, and whether you must agree on everything before starting a divorce. Having a clear, step-by-step understanding of the divorce process can help you make informed decisions at what is often a turbulent time.
Below is a process-led overview of how divorce and the related issues of finances and children typically fit together.
1. Divorce Ends the Marriage, So Timing Matters
Divorce legally ends the marriage (and the equivalent process for a civil partnership is dissolution). Starting the process is, therefore, a significant step, so it should be done when you are ready to proceed.
A divorce application can be made as a sole application or a joint application. Where one spouse is “in denial”, disengaged or uncooperative, a sole application is often the more practical route because it does not rely on the other person actively progressing matters. The law in England and Wales allows for “no-fault” divorce, meaning you do not need to prove wrongdoing to start the process. It also means that divorce proceedings cannot be defended.
2. You Do Not Need to Settle Finances or Agree on Arrangements Regarding the Children First
A common misconception is that financial terms or child arrangements must be agreed upon before divorce proceedings can begin. This is not the case. You do not need a full agreement in place regarding finances or children to start the divorce.
In fact, many families use the early stages of the divorce process to gather information, take advice and begin negotiations about financial matters and arrangements for children.
3. Understand the Timeline: the 20-Week “Cooling Off” Period
Once the court issues the divorce application, there is a mandatory 20-week period before the applicant(s) can apply for the next formal step (known as applying for the Conditional Order). It is very common for this time to be used constructively, such as working through financial disclosure, negotiating a financial settlement and discussing child arrangements.
It is also common not to apply for the Final Order (which ends the marriage legally) until a Financial Order has been agreed and approved by the court. This is because once the Financial Order is pronounced, you are no longer married and therefore do not have the same financial claims upon death. You need a court-approved Financial Order in place to provide legal certainty and help avoid future claims.
4. Children, Finances and Divorces are Separate – Yet Linked
It can be helpful to think in terms of three parallel tracks:
- Divorce: The legal process to end the marriage.
- Finances: How assets, debts, pensions and incomes are dealt with.
- Children Arrangements: Living arrangements, time with each parent and practical decision-making.
These are separate issues that must be dealt with and resolved separately, but they are intrinsically linked in practice. For example, while the divorce legally ends the marriage, it does not end financial claims. Financial claims can only be finalised through a court-approved Financial Order, making it vital to manage financial matters concurrently with the divorce. Furthermore, where the children live often affects housing options and affordability, and financial decisions can influence what arrangements are workable for the family.
5. The Family Home: Proceed Carefully with the Sale and the Net Proceeds of Sale
Sometimes, couples choose to address finances before starting a divorce and may begin steps to sell the family home early. That can be sensible in the right circumstances, but timing and protection are critical.
A key point is this: if the house is sold, the net sale proceeds should not usually be distributed until a binding financial order is in place. In practice, it can take around six months from starting the divorce to obtain court approval of a Financial Order, depending on complexity and cooperation. Early professional legal advice is important to align the house-sale timetable with disclosure, mortgage issues, interim arrangements, and the steps required to secure a binding outcome.
6. A Practical Checklist for the First 30 Days
To create stability and reduce avoidable costs, consider the following:
- Safety First: If there is any intimidation, coercion or risk, obtain professional, tailored legal advice immediately.
- Document the Essentials: Mortgage/rent, utilities, childcare costs and who pays what on a temporary basis.
- Start Financial Disclosure Early: Exchange financial information, including bank statements, mortgage details, pension information and debts.
- Consider Mediation Where Appropriate: It can be effective for both children and financial discussions in suitable cases.
- Get Professional Advice on Sequencing: Divorce filing, home-sale steps and Financial Order timing should be coordinated.
How We Can Help
If you would like Family Law advice tailored to your situation, especially where property, children or an uncooperative spouse make the logistics and process more complex, please contact Laura Martin:
Telephone: 01258 488216
Email: laura.martin@blanchardsbailey.co.uk
Location: Blandford, Weymouth
You can also visit the Family Law page on our website for more information.
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